A Cancerous Tale

Buzz kill!  Complete loneliness.   Disregarded.  Communication no longer needed.  Next!  You are washed up or at least dead and forgotten.  Cancer is so intimidating that people assume if you associate with some poor soul that has it then the cancer will leap upon you and ruin your vacation or weekend.  Besides you did your part by doing a walk-a-thon and partook of the coco-cola and M&M’s that were so delicately wrapped with a pink ribbon.  You may have even bought a “Save the Ta Ta’s” shirt or even a bumper sticker!  For sure there will be a cure now because you donated to fund the latest research for a cancer cure;  self-convinced the drug companies have that poor lil bald girl in their best interest. 

You stop in for your daily breakfast of Krispy Cream Doughnuts and wash it down with a hot cup of coffee in a Styrofoam cup with artificial creamer and sweeteners.  You pull out of the “I am NOT sick, so I deserve a doughnut” shop into heavy traffic singing to the latest Justin Bieber song feeling great from the high of caffeine, sugar and now benzene, toluene and xylene from the auto exhaust.  No worries though because by the time you get to your dreamy job at the hair salon all you need to keep that artificial, avoiding reality buzz going is to take a drag of the cadmium filled cigarette.    Gossiping and whispering about the sick person or the last client’s cousin who died at 33 is just another day at the office. 

The daily grind is now taking a toll on your body and 5 years have passed since your hot body, invincible, partying college days.   Exhausted and complaining to all your co-workers you enthusiastically tell the fatter than you, nail tech that you haven’t had anything to eat today except coffee and doughnuts at breakfast.  The Nail tech, Sally lightheadedly murmurs back, I am starving; do you want to take a cigarette break?  Yes!  The 2 of you go back in the stock room where they keep all the toxic supplies to finally sit down and get some fresh air!  Jokingly you say wouldn’t it be funny if this cigarette ignited with all the chemicals in the salon and “poof” it caught fire?  Yeah, then we could get that much needed vacation we so desperately want!  Your feet are swollen and your back is aching but all is great because your shift just ended.  You drop a dime in the donation pot on the counter for the next dying cancer victim---what’s her name?  Too tired to cook, the convenience of a dozen fast food restaurants per city block is the perfect way to unwind and de-stress for the evening.  You devour the trans-fatty acid look-a-like chicken nuggets and wash them down with a proper serving or 2 of dairy via a milkshake and an ice cream sundae.  You realize the dangers of sugar speeding up cancer, but no need to worry because you aint got noth’n to worry about cuz cancer is for old people or kids with bad genetics; besides my mom did not die until she was 54 from cancer. 

You arrogantly put your cigarette out so it is easier to drink your diet coke and drive.  You pass out immediately on the couch upon getting home from your productive day only to wake up 15 minutes later starving.  A glass of wine or 3 is just the fix you need until dessert before bedtime.  The next morning you don’t wake up until 11:00 and that is only because your phone is ringing off the hook, Hello?  Shit!  You just missed work and you realize it is the receptionists calling you frantically to get you in to work.  You skip the doughnut shop this time and grab a diet coke and a cigarette and scurry to work.  No singing this time because your neck is stiff and the brain fog today is just too blurry for Justin Bieber to bring you out of the haze.  You limp thru the doors because your feet still hurt from the day before.  

Time to play catch-up and get those hair do’s a going.  Upon entry to the Salon you were surprised that no one was working and instead everybody was crying and sobbing.  You go to apologize to your co-worker but she is nowhere to be found.  You go ask the tear jerked receptionist what in the world is going on?  Sally passed out this morning when she got to work and an ambulance came and got her. “ Is she ok?” you ask,  the receptionist answers sobbing, “ no she died”!  What happened?  "She died from cancer!"  The Receptionist said the chemotherapy was just too much for her to handle. The cancer donation jar that you dropped a dime in everyday was for your disregarded co-worker!  The funeral was a total eye opener.  Was it the two decades of toxic exposure or just bad fortune and genetics that took your friend’s life?  You totally spent the day grieving and thought to yourself; I will not let her death consume me and decided to really live life to the fullest. 
A much needed vacation to Cancun was the fix.  A solid week of binge drinking and junk food and late nights would keep the cancer ghost from getting you.  You were not going to be a buzz kill and decided to disregard any of this happening.  No need mentioning that you didn’t even realize it was Sally’s name on the donation jar. The fact that you only gave a few dimes left you feeling embarrassed enough, let alone that fact that you didn’t even realize it was for your friend!   

You put this all to rest and get back to the daily grind and tell yourself to just be nicer.  You decide to start bringing doughnuts in daily for the salon staff and convince yourself niceness will keep the cancer ghost in purgatory.  You even started to share your doughnuts and cigarettes with the poor kid that rode his bike by the salon on his way to high school every day.  There was no way you were going to be the one that gets cancer and becomes a forgotten, lonely buzz kill!